Yep… that’s us. Well, one of us anyway, the other one might indeed be a hostage…
Who’s to say, right?
And, by the way, I know Don Pardo isn’t dead, but either he’s retired to Florida and moved in with us or he’s channeling himself through Bob. Because, seriously, all he’s done for the last two days is mutter “a brand new car” as he meanders around my house.
Of course, he’s not doing it with Don’s amazing elan, but still… every time he says it I feel like I should be spinning a wheel or picking between a brightly decorated box on a table or the curtain that Carol is standing in front of.
And with all that, I’m pleased (?) to announce that yes, Facebook and the Twitters have been telling the truth, we do indeed have a new car.
Yeah, anything that big needs sound effects… don’cha think?
Well, okay, maybe not, because we’re not driving a Lambo or anything quite so “exotic”. Instead I’d say that this car purchase has put us solidly into the category of “damned near old” because we bought the perennial favorite of the 60+ crowd- a 2011 Toyota Camry Hybrid. And before you say it again, I know it’s “practical and reliable”, and I also know well that we’ve taken a huge step toward saving the planet with our “greenie” sensibility.
Yeah yeah yeah.
I’m well aware of all those stellar qualities. But, I think we can all agree that it’s not, how shall I put it? Exciting? Fun? Moving faster than either of us after an extra dose of Metamucil? Yeah, it’s none of those.
And about the last one? No, I’m not that far gone yet… but Bob is.
And I’m also pretty sure that this car is going to sic the AARP Recruitment Team all over us… that is if it doesn’t come with an automatic membership included. Hey AARP! Pro tip right there. Send me a check later.
But, yeah, despite my grumbling, it was time to make the change, what with the XTerra having 194,000 miles on it and me commuting 120 miles every day in an SUV that gets 22 mpg. So, finally I got serious about researching, then found “The Old White Mare” at Toyota of Lakeland on Friday, and on Saturday we bought it.
Exactly that fast. Wow.
And on a sidenote, can I just tell you guys that buying something like a car simply terrifies me? I have no problem dropping $200 at Coach or $4 at Starbucks for my precious Mochas but get me into a car dealership and I start having panic attacks.
And I know that panic is directly related to my knowing that- despite my extensive research and pretty decent negotiation skills- I’m going to get screwed… and I’m not getting dinner or flowers, forget about jewelry!
And you in the back there can quit laughing, because you were too. Yeah, you were, trust me, they always win. It’s like Vegas… if they’re doing so badly then how do they afford to build new casinos?
But, to be sure, it’s that total dread of the entire process that explains why I did most of the research online via cars.com and other sites, got pricing and made an appointment to drive the car Saturday AM via email, and we then showed up at the dealership IN THE CAR WE WEREN’T GOING TO TRADE IN. Yeah, we drove the other car. Because I really didn’t intend to do this deal. Instead, I intended to put it off for another 3 or 4 months, just like I’ve been doing since we first started discussing it in July.
I had a plan. Ignoring things is a plan, right? Right.
But anyway, despite my best subconscious efforts to sabotage this deal, we did it. Mainly because they gave us exactly what I wanted in trade for Bob’s car, and they came down on the price of the new car by $4400, and they threw in the free floormats.
I think we did pretty well.
But in spite of that negotiation success I can’t get past the mental picture of the car I really wanted from their lot- a 2010 Mini Cooper S with a 6 speed manual transmission oh, and the standard option of more fun per square inch than three barrels of monkeys! When I looked at it I could visualize Mabel riding shotgun, with a nifty pair of Doggles and maybe a jaunty hat. Somehow, though, neither of us could visualize Bob sitting in there with us. So, because it didn’t work for Bob, it’s still there on the lot and we’ve got “The Old White Mare”.
In white, with the beige interior, because that’s what old people in Florida buy, because it’s practical.
And just to add to my aggravation, while we sedately motor down the road to TED socks and Tri-focals, according to the dealership Bob’s old XTerra might finally be having the time of it’s life somewhere down in the jungles of south America or the middle east. Possibly it’s going to become a member of the Cartels, maybe running drugs or guns, or something exciting like that, until of course it either hits a landmine and gets blown to smithereens or dies in a shootout with the other bad guys.
Wow! What a way to go! Maybe Bob should have made a package trade – me & the XTerra for the Camry and a spot at the best Assisted Living Center in Lakeland?
And that in a nutshell is the problem with living with me. Inside the mild-mannered Soccer Mom disguise lurks the heart of a forever-young and reckless revolutionary… who isn’t really moving all too gracefully into her old age.
So, while Bob won the battle this time with his “practical and reliable” bull-shizzle, you can bet that next time I’m not giving up gracefully. I want cute, fun, and fast. And I really don’t care about the order. After all, isn’t a life well-lived the most important thing? Quality, not quantity.
Even if you can’t tell that from the outside, that’s me – Supergirl – thwarted for now, but plotting her next big move.
But for now, since I’ve always been the “Lemons to Lemonade” type, if you’ll excuse me for a bit I think I’ve got some customizing to do. I’m thinking some tasteful flames on the sides, maybe a few pinstripes, finished up with a neon undercar kit and a nice set of two-tone Spinners.