Just a little…

sad, melancholy, whatever… you know what I mean.  Well, okay, maybe not.  So I’ll explain.

I bought my last school supplies today.

I know, I know… the “white people problems” I come up with to kvetch about.  Right?  Yeah, right.  But still, this is the last semester.  The last time I have to pick out folders.  The last time I have to prepare to go back to class for this go-round.

The end.

And it’s really hard to look backward and figure out where the two years have gone.  This time in 2010 I hadn’t even reapplied to start back.  I wasn’t even thinking about it.  It wasn’t even on my radar.  I didn’t make the decision until August 2010, the day I applied, and the day I told Bob I was doing this.

Yeah… he got no notice either.  I’m communicative like that.  You’ve been warned.

But anyway, yeah, I came home in early August, with the application complete and the acceptance already done, and I announced that I was going back to school.  And now I’m one degree done and the second nearly in the bag.


No, make that double wow.  Or triple.  And add in a chorus of “time flies…” because it really does.  And who knows where two more years will take us.  How our lives will look then.

Who knows?

If you had told me ten years ago that I would be here, in Lakeland, married to someone else, with children, and living this life… well, first I wouldn’t have believed you.  And second, there’s likely quite a bit I would have done differently.  Or not.

Probably not.

But for now, when I look backward, I see so many changes, so much that is gone, and so much that is new.  I don’t even recognize this life.  Even though I love it.  Even though it’s mine.  Even though I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.

I really wouldn’t.

Without this life I would not be who I am today.  I would not be so different.  I like me now.  Better than I liked me then.  Really.  I do.  And I think everyone who has left me would like me today as well.  More comfortable.  More secure.

Me, only more me than I was before.

But today, it’s folders and notebooks and pencils, for the last time for this adventure, and I’m just a little sad.  But I’m truly more curious…

What’s next?