Wheat from Chaff… or figuring out what’s most important in life…

That’s tough, BTW, and I know only because I’ve been working hard on it lately.  Week 1 for school is over, and it is a bloodbath this semester kids.

Seriously.

This might be the hardest semester yet, filled with the hardest classes, and I may or may not lose my mind trying to simply survive it.

(True story – I sat in my car last Thursday night after Financial Accounting and ugly-cried for 5 min. because it’s seriously that bad.)

And, of course, because my day job seriously sucks, it’s doing it’s best to finish me off the rest of the way.  With no hesitation.  Because it’s work.  And I know this means I need to choose.  I know there’s a reason why younger, more mentally agile people do not try to work full-time and go to school full-time.  I know something needs to give.  And I know that the job I’m in, while very well-paid, is not my future path.  It’s merely a job.  With a paycheck.  And right now it’s also an obstacle.  But as I’m trying to make the right decision as to what to do about it, I keep coming back to that whole “we enjoy living indoors” thing, and then I sit down in the corner and rock.

And cry.

And then I dry my eyes and I go back to my homework.  That’s my life, here in this circle of hell.  And I daydream of a future… coming very soon… when all this will be over.

But not yet.

This is hard.  Doing the right thing is hard.  Knowing what that thing to do is hard.  There are no easy answers.  I need easy.  I need done.  But it’s not showing up.  Instead 3am rolls around every day, and every day I get a little more tired, a little more frustrated…

A little more.

Just know this one thing.  I will finish this.  And I will finish the way I want to finish it too.  This fight will not stop.  I am stronger than this thing.  I will do the right thing.  As soon as I figure out what it is.  As soon as I know when it is enough.

Soon.

The Back to School Update – Part “The Last”

So, yeah, got all my books for Fall 1, and never before has there been seen a more boring looking collection of excruciation.  These books are friends I tell you, they hang out on the same shelf, go on vacations together, they’re buddies.  Oh, gotta insert a caveat here, I’ve got all of them except for that hellishly expensive Financial Management book, which to me is supreme irony.  Seriously?  The point of financial management is to conserve funds, but I can’t very well do that when I’m spending all my funds buying the damned book, now can I?  Anyway, I won’t be buying that one until after first class when I find out which version the Professor recommends.  And, of course, if her name is included in any way, her answer will be “buy all of the books!”

Grumble, grumble, shyster charlatans, grumble.

But I’m not bitter… not after several semesters of this… no, not at all (wink, wink).

Anyway, I’ve also got my new, shiny school supplies, complete with Ink Joy Pens, and liquid lead pencils… because you know I’m the nerdiest about this stuff.  And, yes, everything is color coordinated.  Also not a surprise.  But accessorizing is what separates us from the animals, right?

Yeah, er, right.

This semester is 18 credit hours – divided between 12 in Fall 1 and 6 in Fall 2.  Piece of cake, no?  Well, no.  It’s not.  Financial Management, Financial Accounting, Human Resources, and Strategic Management are Fall 1… yay.  No really, yay.  If I survive that it will be a miracle.  Truly a miracle.  Color me nervous.  then Fall 2 has another management class combined with my Capstone class where I have to run a $30,000,000 company – with a team.  Don’t worry, I’ve already inquired as to whether I can fire my team and go it alone.

Oh come on, you know you aren’t surprised by that.  Neither was the faculty member I asked.  However, he did tell me that I was the first ever to ask that particular question. Such a trendsetter I am.  That right there is the reason I’m on that President’s List.  No other reason necessary.  I think I’m already a distinguished Alumnus, and I haven’t even graduated yet!

Anyway, yeah, I’m ready to do this thing and finish this journey… sort of.  But I’ve really enjoyed being in the classroom and I feel like I’ve taken years off my age by going to the trouble of actually learning.  And I did, learn that is, lots of stuff in fact, and for that alone I think this was worth it.

But I’m not through.  Not by a long shot.

Yep, I know it’s crazy, but I’m taking a year or two off and then I’m starting my Masters.  In what?  Oh, I haven’t decided yet, but it’s next.  Of that you can be sure.  And if you’re like me, and you haven’t done this, DO IT!  It’s so worth it.  Really.  It is.  Even if it does me no good at all, it’s still worth it.  After all, as the saying goes “No matter how slow you are you’re still lapping everybody on the couch”.

I’m ready.  Let’s SOAR!

New Beginnings…

Do you ever run out of them?  I hope not… really, truly hope not.  Because I’ve packed a healthy lunch, made a Green Monster Smoothie, and I’m ready for today.

Maybe.

Because it’s a Monday and Monday’s suck where I work.  Really suck.  Like everyone all around the world spends all weekend working on creating mayhem and trying to come up with the worst scenarios possible that we have to resolve in 8 hours.  Or 10.  Or 14 – like last Monday.

Yuck.

Every Monday I update my resume just a bit more, because I hate it so much.  But every Thursday I think “this isn’t that bad” and it isn’t.  Work as schizophrenia… or work is schizophrenia.  One or the other.  Who can say? But today it starts again.  Today is the first day of the rest of my week.  Today is what I have.  Today.  Make it count?  Make it worth it?  Okay… maybe not… let’s just go with survival.

I’ll settle for that.

Today.

Chickens, Jackwagonry, and us…

oh my!

I’ve been quiet lately.  For a lot of reasons.  But mainly it’s expeditious.  Work is being a vampire and I just don’t have time for creativity.  Not that I ever have time for much creativity… right?  Yeah, well, anyway.  Clearly I’m not a BlogHer12… damn the MAN!  But next year kids… next year I’m going… COME HELL OR HIGH WATER!

This year, however, much like the last several, I am not.  Instead I’m making out with the employment equivalent of Edward Cullen… oh yeah, and I’m trying not to EXPLODE from all of the jackwagonry of National “Let’s Support Millionaires Who Want Us to Live in a Theocracy” Day.

And I just failed.  Blerg.  So not that you care but here’s what I think.  Instead of filling my feed with nonsense, I’m doing what I do best.  Voting with my wallet.  To be clear, I haven’t been to “that chicken place” in quite a long time.  I will not go back there.  Neither will Bob.  Because after I heard about their pet causes that they support I made the conscious decision not to allow them to spend my hard-earned money supporting hate that I don’t agree with.

chicken-fila

Yeah, I think this makes my point pretty well.  But then, there’s also the fact that I don’t like their chicken.  Bonus.

So yeah, all of y’all can blather on about the First Amendment and how the “gay” man is trying to get Mr. Cathey down all you want.  And then I invite you to please wash it down with a nice, refreshing glass of STFU.  Oh, and rejoice (or be afraid) at the idea that I’m praying for you.  Because all this crap from yesterday?  It just looked like Selma in 1962 to me.  Because every reason I’ve heard so far as to why gays shouldn’t have the same civil rights as the rest of us today?  Yeah, your Grandma said all of them about black folks back during the Civil Rights era.

Yeah, she did.  So again, back to our drinking game… time for another glass of STFU, just for you!

Just so we’re clear, the Bible can be used to justify practically everything.  Or nothing at all.  Oh, and if all the religions are to be believed then the upshot is that my God says that your God is an asshole.  Yeah, there’s that too.  Of course, my advice to all of you is to quit justifying racism and hate with God.  You’re really pissing him off.

Oh, and you can add me to that list as well.  Not that it matters.

To put a sharp point on this… I know some lovely Christians who live their lives in a way that is very much Christ-like.  And some lovely LGBT people who do the same.  And then I know plenty of you idiots who knee-jerked to the cause of a multimillion dollar corporation that is doing just fine thankyouverydamnedmuch, because Jesus (and some cows) supposedly love chicken.

Which is why I think you’re idiots, really.  You and those cows.  At least the cows have a vested interest.

Anyway, whatevs, hope that chicken sandwich gets you the nice cushy seat in Heaven… but I think secretly it won’t.  I personally think you need to either live the whole fairytale or none at all – but so far I haven’t seen any slave markets for 14 year old girls so I think you’re not going that way.  As for me and my house?  We’re doing the right thing.  And we’re not eating that chicken.  Because we know where it was before it crossed the road.

And that wasn’t a Church, in case it matters.  But it probably doesn’t.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got real issues to worry about.  Like finding another picture of Ryan Lochte.  Or figuring out who medaled in Curling.  That shiz is important, yo?

Yo.