Temporarily closed for repairs…

So yeah… lots of stuff going on kids… ALL. OF. THE. STUFF. Head is spinning from all of the changes that are happening really damned fast and if you follow me on Facebook then you already know the scoop. However, until I get some security updates done on this bloggity blog thing I won’t be talking about ALL. OF. THE. STUFF. on here for a while.

Remember the social and cyber stalking I dealt with a long time ago? Yeah… that’s a problem… again…


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Making choices…

So yesterday I said something that was so true and yet so surprising to write… I think my quote was “… I am happier in my own skin than I have been in years…” and while that might sound a bit surprising coming from me the truth in that statement is beyond truthiness. Continue reading

From the bottom of my heart…

So yeah… the birthday has come and gone… and quite a birthday it was. Honestly this one, while not as glitzy and over the top as Vegas in ’15, was likely one of the best in a very long time. From the people who joined me to the places I visited to all of the amazing food and drink I enjoyed… I’m not sure I could have drawn a picture of a more perfect time if I had tried. And the best part? I didn’t have to try. That was the best part of this birthday in fact… I didn’t have to try because I wasn’t in charge. I was in fact told that I was not going to be told anything about any of the plans for me or given choices on any of them. Someone else did all the planning. All I had to deal with was being totally out of control.

Spoiler alert… I liked it. A lot.

And I know that over half of you just fell over in a faint at that. Yes, Ms Control Freak was not in charge. At all. In any way. And I’m the world’s official worst at controlling stuff. That’s what I do. That might be what I do best. But not this time. This time I handed it over… willingly… and had the best time I’ve had in a long time. And this year, although it might surprise you guys, the joy wasn’t in the gifts and the attention… nope. The joy was in the people who were there. The people who took time out of their lives on either Friday or Saturday nights to meet up and just spend time together.

What a wonderful thing.

There were several points over those two nights when I was just watching things unfold, various groups talking and laughing, and it dawned on me that there were many connections present that didn’t even exist a year ago. There’s people in my life today who’ve become a part of my fabric so effortlessly that I now feel like they must have been there forever, but they haven’t. And then I realized that the mix of people that were present were exactly typical of any event I plan myself… because my circle is so diverse that when I start inviting I just select people, regardless of whether they know each other or not, regardless of whether they have anything in common, because I love pitching people together and watching the interaction. So the planners had done exactly what I would have done. They planned absolutely perfectly for me. And that’s when I knew I’ve gotten incredibly lucky yet again with the people I’ve chosen to be in my life.

Yet again.

Make no mistake, I’ve built a village here that’s a lot like me… a village that I love… and I’m constantly adding to it… with no commonality other than liking each other and enjoying each other’s company. I love my village… I love being their idiot… and I’m reasonably sure this is the happiest I’ve been in my skin in a very long time. And even though I’m building another village these days, one that sits a bit further south, rest assured that I’m not leaving this one. This is the one I love, this is home. Lakeland is my home. Yesterday. Today. Tomorrow.

Yes, you can go home again.

And this is where I thank you all for welcoming me back home. For being a part of my life. For celebrating with me… with us… together… and not just this weekend and this birthday but everything… the big moments and the small. Thanks. Such a small word but it says everything. Thanks.

Thanks for being in my life. Just thanks.




Here’s a toast to 52… it’s been a mix but I’m ending it smiling and that’s what counts. Thanks to everyone in my life for all of the love… I am blessed beyond measure for the gift of each of you. You’ve carried me through lots of change, lots of things I never expected, and so many things I didn’t see coming.

I may be blind… don’t tell the DMV 😉

But now it’s time for year 53… so c’mon kids… let’s do this… go big or go home!

JK you don’t really get to go home… well maybe that person in the back… not even sure why she’s here anyway… oh and Wellman… he’ll ghost if I don’t give him permission so I might as well say he can leave. The rest of you? Nope! 

Get busy living or get busy dying… it’s a choice… I choose life. And today I am happy. Because I choose happy.

Now let’s get this party started!

Careful what you wish for…

for you shall surely get it… or something like that.  And with that, all I can add is wow! Just wow… because really there just aren’t any other words that apply.

Seriously… Continue reading

But it came with a lifetime guarantee…

whatever the hell that is anyway.

So yeah… I’m thinking about permanence these days… or the impermanence of permanence… or something like that. Because every time I read that something comes with a “lifetime guarantee” my first thought is “whose lifetime are we talking about here?” No really… that’s always what I think… not even kidding. Because if we’re talking my lifetime that’s a lot less time than I’d like to think it’s going to be… brutal reality is that I’m on the downhill side of the slope and if I can get another 30 decent years I’ll actually be damned lucky. But if we’re talking someone like, oh, I don’t know, maybe my son or my daughter? Well now we’re talking getting something of value. At 25 and 30 they’re going to get some serious value out of that whole “lifetime guarantee” stuff.

Damn it to hell.

Anyway, where was I? Oh right, cursing my age again… it happens pretty frequently these days… sorry… birthday Tourettes I guess. But yeah, I’m not even sure anyone believes that whole thing about “lifetime guarantee” anymore, nobody under the age of 40 anyway. Everything is disposable… and I mean everything.

Don’t believe me? When was the last time you saw a TV Repair Shop? Or any kind of small appliance repair shop of any kind for that matter? Yep… everything is disposable.

And that’s why I’m ruminating on that phrase… because I don’t believe anything is forever anymore. Life is teaching me that the hard way these days and I’m finally starting to get okay with it. Life moves in seasons and in phases… some days you like something like carrots and then suddenly you wake up one day and figure out that you don’t… and maybe you never did… maybe you just thought you did.

Maybe not.

So you move to another vegetable and you hope for the best, understanding that there’s lots of vegetables in the world and variety is a good thing to have in your life. But what if you ran out of vegetables…

What if?

Some of you… not naming any names or anything… might rejoice. Until you realize that you have just managed to limit your options for foods by more than half and now you’re going to be eating a pretty boring plate. That’s the thing with moving on… if you aren’t careful you eliminate options… take things off the table… but you also need to add things back in if you’re going to continue to learn and grow and develop. Options are good… they make us think and consider… they make us adapt… they make us flexible. Conversely removing options, eliminating them, reducing yourself to a very few of them makes your viewpoint limited, constricts your world, and puts you into a box that you can’t easily escape.

Not even if you gnaw your foot off or some such nonsense.

I’m seriously in the camp of nothing lasting forever and I still choose to see that as a good thing. Regardless of what that moron who built the Noah’s Ark Museum in Kentucky believes we are all evolving. Every day. And we’re changing… whether we know it or see it… and sometimes this means that what was meant to be a lifetime may not actually turn out to be that long. Or sometimes it means that we live multiple lifetimes in the space of one life… and we have to let things come and go… like the tide washing in and out… and allow ourselves to both mourn the losses and look forward to the arrivals… because if we’re doing this right then something new is always coming to replace the old.


And once you adjust your expectations, once you let go of what you think should happen and accept what is happening, then you can find the freedom to live this moment, the way it lands in front of you, with no guarantees or promises… because that’s life. Maybe it’s not what you wanted… but it really doesn’t care about what you want. Maybe you can hold onto it with a stranglehold and try to get a few more years from it. Maybe.

And maybe not. Because there’s no guarantee.