The most adulty Adult in the room?

Oh hell… if that was a question and the answer included my name at all then the quick answer is probably not and the reality is definitely not. Adulting is something I struggle with actually, even at my advanced age. Even with all of the accoutrements of adulthood wrapped around me and draped from me. I still struggle daily to not to end up in a blanket fort, coloring, and playing on my phone.

I am the oldest 13 year old you know.

But these days I’m starting to see some alarming signs of adulting slipping into my routine. And I am afraid. Very afraid. Because I’m still not entirely sure that I’m ready to be a grown up. An adult. In charge. But apparently I am.

Who saw that shit coming? Right?

But yeah, every time I get the trash to the curb the night before the garbage men come, every time I wash/dry/fold/put away my laundry all in the same day, every time I clean the entire house in 3 hours, every morning when I make my bed and put away all of my shoes and jewelry, and every time I check my budget and pay all of the bills on time I realize I have become something I have never been before.

A real grownup woman.

And again I get scared. Very scared. Because I don’t really want to grow up. I never really did. Growing up means you get closer to dying and my plan is to live forever. Even if I’m living forever in my blanket fort, watching “Stranger Things”, and coloring on my Starbucks cups. Even if I’m keeping my seat at the kids table, pretending I can’t hear the adults talking, and grumbling about eating all of my vegetables even if these days I’m actually liking them.

I always was a weird kid. #nothingchanges

But despite my fears and despite my reluctance, I’m approaching adulthood whether I like it or not. And I’m figuring out that I’m pretty good at it. Even if I’m not sure how to do all of the parts of it yet. I’m trying. I’m figuring out that I’m stronger than I thought. I’m figuring out that I can do this.

I can.

So watch out y’all… I’m growing up. Not all at once… because I still haven’t figured out when the second garbage day is each week. But I’m getting a lot better at this. I might turn 21 some year soon… and then?

Get out of my way! #livingmylife #nolimits