Yesterday was Mom’s birthday. The day is hard every year… but then, every day is a little bit hard since she’s been gone. And she’s been gone for 10 years this year.
I still miss her so much.
The days I wasted fighting against her, trying to prove I was nothing like her, trying to be me… and now, today, I realize that I am so very much like her and I am glad for it. I consider it a compliment when someone tells me how much I remind them of her. In fact, my sister and I are an amalgamation of her best and worst sides. We represent all of her. And all of Dad. We are them… they made us… just so you know that whole “in my own image” stuff goes farther than you ever dreamed.
Wherever you are now Mom I hope they had Pepperidge Farms Coconut Cake for you. I hope they sang “Happy Birthday” just as badly as we always did. I hope someone gave you a ridiculous gift that you didn’t need… just because they loved you so very much and they wanted to buy you something they thought was really super nice with their allowance that they saved up even though it turned out that the gift really wasn’t all that nice and it wasn’t something that you needed at all. I hope they left a mess in the kitchen for you to clean up after they fixed you a fancy dinner of Beef Rice-A-Roni & Asparagus with Cheese which was their favorite, not yours. And most of all I hope they gave you a hug and a kiss and I truly hope they told you how much you are loved and missed.
Because you are.
And even more… on your birthday.
I love you too Mom.