Again with the Monday?

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So here we are, another Monday, and yet not quite the same. No two are ever alike I think.

I hope anyway.

And this week feels better somehow. Even though nothing has changed in any discernible way. It still has. Changed that is. Things are different. And although I’ll never be counted as a fan of Mondays this one might be okay.

This one is different.

So, because this is my annual week of thankfulness, when I take the time to pause and remember what I’m grateful for, I’ll kick it off with this bit of puzzlement:

I’m grateful for Mondays.

Life is a balance of good and bad, sublime and awful, beautiful and sordid… Mondays are a part of that order of things. How could we know to love Saturdays if we didn’t have Mondays to compare them to?

Would we ever know how sweet dessert is if we never had to eat our vegetables?

Mondays are the vegetables of our lives. They can be mundane, horrifying, or simply awful, but they teach things that we cannot learn on Thursdays. So I am grateful for Mondays. Because as long as you are still learning you are still living. And as long as you’re still living then you’re still alive.

Live on. To Monday and beyond.

Yeah.

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“An infinite question is often destroyed by finite answers. To define everything is to annihilate much that gives us laughter and joy.”

Madeleine L’Engle

There are sometimes strong winds that blow open the doors that we need to hide behind for our very survival. Is it safer to open the door on our own and take the chance of either destroying everything we have or saving it all by letting the wind pass through and leave us untouched? Or should we nail our doors closed, take refuge in the darkness they provide, and live in fear for the rest of our lives that we may be tested again?

Sometimes things happen. And always things happen for a reason. Sometimes, though, the reasons aren’t the ones we originally see. And while getting the real reason is tempting, intriguing, and can be soul-satisfying in the extreme, it is also usually the most dangerous and risky thing we choose to do. Because the search will usually mean that things continue to happen. And everything happens for a reason.

Frequently life offers answers to questions that weren’t asked. Solutions to riddles that are ridiculous and never should be solved. Landings for thoughts that circle endlessly in an infinite loop that stretches for eons that we never really wanted to know. And sometimes life is filled with inscrutable answers that answer nothing at all.

Once in a lifetime we open up boxes that cannot be closed. Sometimes we learn more than we need in order to survive in our organized and tidy little world. Sometimes we only needed to know a little, not a lot. But the questions we ask are not small questions and the answers are much larger than we ever expected.

Sometimes it’s just Monday.

And sometimes it’s not.

New Beginnings…

Do you ever run out of them?  I hope not… really, truly hope not.  Because I’ve packed a healthy lunch, made a Green Monster Smoothie, and I’m ready for today.

Maybe.

Because it’s a Monday and Monday’s suck where I work.  Really suck.  Like everyone all around the world spends all weekend working on creating mayhem and trying to come up with the worst scenarios possible that we have to resolve in 8 hours.  Or 10.  Or 14 – like last Monday.

Yuck.

Every Monday I update my resume just a bit more, because I hate it so much.  But every Thursday I think “this isn’t that bad” and it isn’t.  Work as schizophrenia… or work is schizophrenia.  One or the other.  Who can say? But today it starts again.  Today is the first day of the rest of my week.  Today is what I have.  Today.  Make it count?  Make it worth it?  Okay… maybe not… let’s just go with survival.

I’ll settle for that.

Today.