You know there’s something unhinged about you if you feel guilty for not doing a meme… right?  Right!  So, here I am, Ms. Unhinged, at your service.  Okay, Jack, although there’s no one who would ever believe it could happen, I’m playing by the rules and here they are! 

 The Rules for our silly game are:  

Link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.
Share Christmas facts about yourself.
Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.  Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

Now, without further ado, here’s the meat and potatoes of Christmas, flying monkey style!

1. Wrapping or gift bags? I got some mad wrappin’ skillzez but gift bags are just so niceandeasy – that’s why there’s a mix.  Little known quirk about me for extra credit – all my gift wrap has to match and coordinate.  Stray gifts are hidden under the theme paper.  Don’t ask why… it’s just that way… has been since I was in high school and I took my allowance and bought my Mom gift wrap so she’d match it all up.  It looks really nice BTW, but yes, it’s slightly crazy.

2. Real or artificial tree? Que es fake tree, no habla fake tree, not here, not ever.  They are an abomination from Satan, especially when they look like my Nana’s old green toilet brush tree… eeeewwwww!  No crap, I’ve seen fuller, more fluffy cacti!
 

3. When do you put up the tree? First weekend in December… any earlier is just wrong.

4. When do you take the tree down? Whenever I get off my lazy butt and get it done… timing varies.  This year it will be Jan. 1st since we’re headed to HHI on Jan. 2d. 

5. Do you like eggnog? OMG… does the Pope poop in the woods?  Are bears Catholic?   Seriously, WTF, do you even read this blog?  This thing has been a love letter to Nog since October.  Thanks Frank M… gonna freeze me some creamy goodness for a summer pickmeup when I start getting all starry-eyed over missing my sweet treat.  Now that’s Christmas in July, that’s what I’m talkin’ about!

6. Favorite gift received as a child? Okay, since I’m still technically a child, I can widen this net a bit further.  It would probably be a tie between Tina the Chihuahua that we got from Santa in 1970, my first Coach Purse (and the beginning of the “It’s just not Christmas without Coach” tradition that still lives on) that I got from EB in 1997, and my big beautiful Engagement Ring that the Bob gifted me with for Christmas in 2005.   

7. Do you have a nativity scene? Of course, and as with everything else in my vast collection o’ Christmas, there’s a story that goes with it.  My Manger Scene is affectionately known in our family as the ”Mangy Scene”.  We don’t call it that because we’re heathens (although I am, usually)  but instead because it was bought by my Parents Bet & JL, way back before time began, in 1959 or 60.  Thus, as you can well imagine, it’s lookin’ pretty rough.  In addition, to add to it’s rascally charm, it’s sacreligious as hell, but in a tender, touching, Christmassy kind of way.  You see, my folks separated after Christmas in 1974 and started the beginning of a peaceful yet acrimonious divorce that lasted all my growing up years.  So, that year, we became the first kids in our circle of friends who had parents living in two separate houses.  This whole thing was pretty tough on Jen-boo and I, because we felt so different and like we didn’t fit in.  Thus, anything that looked like us, you know, weird, was really cool.  You can imagine our delight that next Christmas, when we got out the Mangy Scene, and lo and behold, Joseph had somehow hightailed it out of the box and left poor Mary and Little Baby Jesus to fend for themselves.  There was also the issue of the drunken sheep that wouldn’t stand up, but that’s another story.  Anyway, when I saw the alteration to our holy family, I immediately caught the resemblance to my own and in all my Childhood innocence, looked up at Bet and said “Mom, do you think Mary and Joseph got divorced this year too?”  My Mom stifled her smile and laughter, and said, “I don’t know Sweetie, maybe”.  So yeah, we’re going to Hell, but Joseph has never been invited back and our Mangy Scene is strictly a single-parent household.  Sorry if it offends anybody – as Byron says, “click that button up there on top, you know, the one that says NEXT BLOG” and just move along.  

8. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? I don’t get bad gifts… the key is control.

9. Mail or email Christmas cards? Mailed.  It makes me feel like a grown up settled person. 

10. Favorite Christmas Movie? A Christmas Story, there are no others that even come close.

11. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Usually in October, after we get through the birthday-thon in September.  But the big stuff starts on Thanksgiving Night when we pull an all-nighter in the Best Buy parking lot 

12. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? 24 Hour Salad, my Mom’s homemade Coconut Cream Pie & Chex Party Mix

13. Clear lights or colored on the tree? Both, and just like Jack, no tinsel!!!

14. Favorite Christmas song? Anything by Aaron Neville, love that voice!

15. Travel at Christmas or stay home? It was traveling for a lot of years, but I’m hoping we can stay home for a Christmas or two… it’s kind of nice.

16. Can you name all of Santa’s reindeer? OMGWTF… if you can’t then you really need to start studying my Hanukkah posts… because conversion needs to be in your future!

17. Angel on the tree top or a star? A big sparkly gold star.

18. Open the presents Christmas Eve or Christmas Morning? Christmas Morning… because any other time just messes up the whole thing.  Santa doesn’t just come all willynilly, like some random virus or stuff… he’s got a schedule… me too!

19. Most annoying thing about this time of year? THE LIST (you know the one, it’s staring at you right now, with eight red stars blinking their undoneness).

20. Do you decorate your tree in any specific theme or color? Yes, Family Random.  That means it’s full of memories that match to me.  Anything else is just decorator foliage.

21. What do you leave for Santa? Used to be it was milk and cookies, but now I leave diet Coke… he’s trying to cut back. 

22. Least favorite holiday song? Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer… especially when it’s coming out of Kbug’s stuffed reindeer under the tree!

23. Favorite ornament? Probably teh survivor ornaments from the Christmas that Almost Wasn’t.  Cliffnotes version:  Mom cut her own tree to save money, trunk was crooked, as she completed decorating it, the damned thing fell over.  Dad came home to his two babies crying on the porch, saying “Momma says there ain’t gonna’ be no Christmas this year Daddy”.  Did I mention that they’d just gone to Sears on Central the night before and plunked down some big change (for 1969, anyway) on all new ornaments and lights to upgrade the tree that year?  Jenboo and I both have some of the survivors that we hang on our trees every year.  And, every year we re-tell the story about the Christmas that almost wasn’t!  It’s our family version of The Christmas Story.

Okay, now the links.  I’m only throwin’ this on a few special folks, because everybody is crazy running around right now and everybody else I love got tagged by Jack!  Which I guess means that it’s true, they do know Jack!  So, The Three Miracles, Did I Sign On For This?, Overtly Trite, and Curiously Kaylea, here’s some fun for you all!  Kick back, take a deep breath, and ponder the things you love about the season.  It’ll help with the stress, I promise.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 18th, 2007 at 8:43 am and is filed under Holidays.You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.