So… this Tuesday was a big one… wow!
Yes, really… it’s like Tuesday looked at Monday and said “bless your heart” and then she pulled up her big girl panties and proceeded to kick some ass.
FWIW Tuesday might be a lot like a certain Polk County Girl who was transplanted from the hills of east Tennessee. No, her gene pool isn’t a lovely combination of Evian and Estee Lauder but damn if that shit ain’t strong. Just try her one time… if you’re like the others you’ll probably love the verbal ass kicking she delivers to you with a broad smile and a wink.
You’re welcome. Y’all come back soon!
So with all that… some of you have already heard but here’s the big announcement. I’ve accepted a new marketing position with a firm in Lakeland and I am moving back home. And yeah… I know… I see several of you shaking your heads in amazement… you didn’t even know I was looking for a new gig… right? As hard as it may be to believe, I can keep things quiet… it’s a new skillset… I know… shocking!
Who is this woman I have become?
Honestly this announcement comes with mixed emotions because I like my home here in Punta Gorda and I’ve met some wonderful people and made good friends here. To be clear it’s been a quiet life but it’s been a good place for me to figure me out and make myself whole and own my life.
Sidenote – try doing that sometime. Lift the rocks, look under them, grab a broom and clean shit up. It’s cathartic.
But back to the story… I’ve changed in a lot of ways. I’m coming back home a very different person than the woman who left there over a year ago. I had a great adventure. Lost a huge love. Gained an amazing friendship out of that wreckage. And I grew as a person and I’m much more authentic and real than I’ve ever been in my life. I got quiet on here and felt my feelings more IRL. I loved more in person and less from a distance. And I cut a lot of toxicity out of my life and left it by the road.
Honestly I feel younger, wiser, and happier… and I think a lot of you have seen that when you’ve been around me over then last 10 months. Thank you Brian for the advice you gave me when I was sitting in the ashes of everything I thought I wanted last December and I didn’t know what to do next. Your wise words? “It is time for you to just live your life”. I am BDoc. I love you for that advice. And so much more. And thank you Matt for holding me when I cried my heart out and being there to make me laugh and show me that love comes in so very many shapes and sizes. And thank you to the rest of my tight circle of family and friends who carried me… held me up… as I found my new path and started walking forward again.
I am blessed.
As I look back today I see that I left home very much a victim of what others think of me and other people’s expectations for what my life should be. Today I operate under the idea that other people’s opinions of me are none of my business. And I’ve run totally out of fucks to give… the field where I grew them is empty… I am free.
Spoiler alert: I never was a good farmer… think Zsa Zsa Gabor in “Green Acres”… yeah, um, no.
So as I start to pack up my life here and meld it into my life there what I’m understanding more than ever is that sometimes walking away from who you are is the only way to see who you can be. Sometimes it is the only thing one can do in order to move forward in life.
Forward. I’m moving forward. Always. And life is good kids… always.
I am happy.