The One about Thanksgiving…

So yeah, it’s Thanksgiving… and even though it might be the oddest Thanksgiving in years I’ve already been celebrating the thankfulness this week and I intend to continue doing exactly that every day. Thankful shouldn’t be something we only try on once a year you see… no matter how hard things are, no matter how wrong things have gone, no matter what’s happening… there is always always always something to be thankful for.

Always. Continue reading

Wearing it well…

 

 

Charlotte Harbor 11/11/17

You know, one of the most interesting things I’m seeing in myself these days is a lot of reprioritization. Continue reading

The most adulty Adult in the room?

Oh hell… if that was a question and the answer included my name at all then the quick answer is probably not and the reality is definitely not. Adulting is something I struggle with actually, even at my advanced age. Even with all of the accoutrements of adulthood wrapped around me and draped from me. I still struggle daily to not to end up in a blanket fort, coloring, and playing on my phone.

I am the oldest 13 year old you know.

But these days I’m starting to see some alarming signs of adulting slipping into my routine. And I am afraid. Very afraid. Because I’m still not entirely sure that I’m ready to be a grown up. An adult. In charge. But apparently I am.

Who saw that shit coming? Right?

But yeah, every time I get the trash to the curb the night before the garbage men come, every time I wash/dry/fold/put away my laundry all in the same day, every time I clean the entire house in 3 hours, every morning when I make my bed and put away all of my shoes and jewelry, and every time I check my budget and pay all of the bills on time I realize I have become something I have never been before.

A real grownup woman.

And again I get scared. Very scared. Because I don’t really want to grow up. I never really did. Growing up means you get closer to dying and my plan is to live forever. Even if I’m living forever in my blanket fort, watching “Stranger Things”, and coloring on my Starbucks cups. Even if I’m keeping my seat at the kids table, pretending I can’t hear the adults talking, and grumbling about eating all of my vegetables even if these days I’m actually liking them.

I always was a weird kid. #nothingchanges

But despite my fears and despite my reluctance, I’m approaching adulthood whether I like it or not. And I’m figuring out that I’m pretty good at it. Even if I’m not sure how to do all of the parts of it yet. I’m trying. I’m figuring out that I’m stronger than I thought. I’m figuring out that I can do this.

I can.

So watch out y’all… I’m growing up. Not all at once… because I still haven’t figured out when the second garbage day is each week. But I’m getting a lot better at this. I might turn 21 some year soon… and then?

Get out of my way! #livingmylife #nolimits

Finding joy in everything…

Buy the shoes.jpeg

So as I’ve alluded on here a couple of times, things have been a bit stressful and chaotic in my life recently. The happy base is good… no worries there… but there’s been a lot of things happening outside of my bubble that have been causing me quite a bit of sadness and stress.

You know… lots of life coming at me at 200 mph… it’s my own special torture… don’t try this at home kids.

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Lessons learned… again…

Confession… I hate needing people. Worse than pretty much anything in the world. Feeling needy to me is a total admission of weakness. I am instantly turned into a 5 year old child when I have to reach out for help… and I’m always terrified that I’ll be turned away or refused. So I try everything I can to never need anyone. Never be vulnerable. Never open up.

Never.

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Isn’t it crazy…

Isn’t it crazy?

Yes… yes it is… everything is different and I am happy. This is the good stuff.

So here’s today’s wisdom from the unwise… love the life you have today kids. You may not have it in a day, in a week, in a year. 

Find your happy… and live your love. Out loud. Sing. Dance. Buy the shoes. Eat the damned cake. 

LIVE!

❤️

Choose wisely…

New Day

Yes… yes I am… I hadn’t really wrapped my mind around that part of reality but I am.  This weekend after I spent three days showing off my new world that realization finally sunk in.

I am simply ridiculously happy.

And that led me to recognize that this was the best choice I could have made for me. My life has changed dramatically. I miss my village up the road fierce. But I now know that no matter what the future brings this decision will never be something I regret.

Never!

And once again I am reminded that you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. I took this shot. I had a 50/50 shot at the outcome. I scored.

And I am happy.