The One about Thanksgiving…

So yeah, it’s Thanksgiving… and even though it might be the oddest Thanksgiving in years I’ve already been celebrating the thankfulness this week and I intend to continue doing exactly that every day. Thankful shouldn’t be something we only try on once a year you see… no matter how hard things are, no matter how wrong things have gone, no matter what’s happening… there is always always always something to be thankful for.

Always.

Do you have a roof over your head? Well there you go. Do you have food in your cupboard? Told you so. Are you working? Again… there’s always something. No, it might not be a luxury roof… and no, you might not be eating a six course tasting menu… and you might actually hate your job or be out of work… but guess what? There’s still something… you just need to look a little harder to find it.

Always.

This week I started my list at dinner each night with a good friend when we drank our usual toast. As my part of that toast, where we both always find something to celebrate, I’ve added one thing I’m grateful for. First was friendship, of course, because I’m so very blessed with the friends I have. Especially the inner circle… y’all know who you are… thanks.

Always.

Second is my life… because I am so very well aware that there’s so very many people who would love to have my truly first world problems. Nothing that is currently wrong in my life is anything that will kill me. Nothing that will leave me homeless. Nothing in my life is that awful. Sure… I’ve got things wrong. No… my life is not perfect. But I’m pretty sure most people would laugh at the things I worry about and most people would eyeroll my top ten concerns. So I focus on just being happy. And I make that choice most of the time. And I remember whenever I am starting to focus on the negatives in my life that my life is pretty damned good, and that’s when I always remember.

Always.

So why not consider adding a thankful ritual into your own life? Not just for this week but for always. Look around you. See everything and everybody that is there. And keep in mind that no matter how hard “right now” might be, everything passes. Everything gets better. And everything has something for which you need to be thankful.

Always.

Always be thankful. If it’s not a blessing it’s a lesson. So be thankful for family, for friends, for old relationships and new, for good jobs and bad jobs and no jobs, for food – good and bad, for the roof over your head – even if it needs to be replaced, for changes, for sameness, for everything…

Just be thankful.

And when you count your thankfuls I hope you find as many as I did… just this year… just by taking a moment and looking back. My smile is so broad right now. My life is full. As bad as things have been at times… things are still very good.

I am thankful.

Wearing it well…

 

 

Charlotte Harbor 11/11/17

You know, one of the most interesting things I’m seeing in myself these days is a lot of reprioritization. Continue reading

The most adulty Adult in the room?

Oh hell… if that was a question and the answer included my name at all then the quick answer is probably not and the reality is definitely not. Adulting is something I struggle with actually, even at my advanced age. Even with all of the accoutrements of adulthood wrapped around me and draped from me. I still struggle daily to not to end up in a blanket fort, coloring, and playing on my phone.

I am the oldest 13 year old you know.

But these days I’m starting to see some alarming signs of adulting slipping into my routine. And I am afraid. Very afraid. Because I’m still not entirely sure that I’m ready to be a grown up. An adult. In charge. But apparently I am.

Who saw that shit coming? Right?

But yeah, every time I get the trash to the curb the night before the garbage men come, every time I wash/dry/fold/put away my laundry all in the same day, every time I clean the entire house in 3 hours, every morning when I make my bed and put away all of my shoes and jewelry, and every time I check my budget and pay all of the bills on time I realize I have become something I have never been before.

A real grownup woman.

And again I get scared. Very scared. Because I don’t really want to grow up. I never really did. Growing up means you get closer to dying and my plan is to live forever. Even if I’m living forever in my blanket fort, watching “Stranger Things”, and coloring on my Starbucks cups. Even if I’m keeping my seat at the kids table, pretending I can’t hear the adults talking, and grumbling about eating all of my vegetables even if these days I’m actually liking them.

I always was a weird kid. #nothingchanges

But despite my fears and despite my reluctance, I’m approaching adulthood whether I like it or not. And I’m figuring out that I’m pretty good at it. Even if I’m not sure how to do all of the parts of it yet. I’m trying. I’m figuring out that I’m stronger than I thought. I’m figuring out that I can do this.

I can.

So watch out y’all… I’m growing up. Not all at once… because I still haven’t figured out when the second garbage day is each week. But I’m getting a lot better at this. I might turn 21 some year soon… and then?

Get out of my way! #livingmylife #nolimits

Finding joy in everything…

Buy the shoes.jpeg

So as I’ve alluded on here a couple of times, things have been a bit stressful and chaotic in my life recently. The happy base is good… no worries there… but there’s been a lot of things happening outside of my bubble that have been causing me quite a bit of sadness and stress.

You know… lots of life coming at me at 200 mph… it’s my own special torture… don’t try this at home kids.

Continue reading

#metoo

I remember it like it happened yesterday. I remember the fear. I remember the panic. I remember the sheer determination to get away. I remember the humiliation.

I remember.

I was 18. I was at my 2nd Fraternity Party. Brand new to college life. Surrounded by people I did not know. Social situations I didn’t yet understand. Places I wasn’t familiar with.

I did not know.

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Lessons learned… again…

Confession… I hate needing people. Worse than pretty much anything in the world. Feeling needy to me is a total admission of weakness. I am instantly turned into a 5 year old child when I have to reach out for help… and I’m always terrified that I’ll be turned away or refused. So I try everything I can to never need anyone. Never be vulnerable. Never open up.

Never.

Continue reading

#currentstatus… the October 6th Edition

willrogers1.jpg

So yeah… not funny anymore. Not funny at all. In fact I read a comment last night on Facebook and it truly sums up how things are going and I told the author I was borrowing it because she had no idea how accurate it is…

My current status? Shining in my Shitstorm. Continue reading