Thank you life for that observation… because you are absolutely correct. Change is inevitable, mostly unwelcome, and frequently the hardest thing we have to cope with. Especially when it comes to changes in or with the people in our life. That doesn’t mean we don’t do it. Remember, it’s inevitable. But we do handle change, especially when it comes to the people we love, reluctantly.
Well, yeah, that applies to the ones we love. The others? The ones we don’t? Well, usually they’re the ones who we’d like to ride out of town on a rail but we end up stuck with them forever. Like gum on the bottom of your shoe. Or that annoying stain on your favorite white teeshirt that Ann Taylor isn’t making anymore. You know the one. And yeah, if you’re reading this and you think I’m talking about you, you’re right. Sorry. Okay, not so much. Just sayin.
But anyway, as so many have written before, all things change. And as I contemplate those words all I can think of is the reality that just two weeks ago my Mother was at my house, and we were doing the ordinary things we did when she was there. Nothing special. A trip to Goodwill, the usual errands, some busywork around my house. Nothing monumental.
On a side note, wow are we boring or what?
But, yes, nothing big. Just stuff we liked to do. Just stuff. Which is why today, just two weeks later, knowing that all things for us have changed is so hard to deal with. So. Hard.
We won’t ever do those mundane, ridiculously ordinary things together again. Because things changed. She won’t see me finally earn my degree that she wanted probably more than me. Because things changed. We won’t ever get to enjoy the full changeover in life roles for parent and child. Because things changed.
And I’m so angry about that. And for the first time in my life, I hate change. I never have before. But now I do. Although it really doesn’t matter. Because like it or not, things change. And I don’t get to choose whether to live those changes or not. I just have to deal with them the best way I can.
PS I’m not doing very good at that.
I just want everything to be the same again. I want everything to be mundane. I just want to know that the most interesting thing I’ll be doing with Mom is going to Coldwater Creek and watching her touch ALL OF THE THINGS! Yes, she did that, and I moaned about it every time, and now I’m heartbroken that we’ll never do that again. I’d let her touch all of those things twice, or even three times, if I could just get one more chance to do that with her. Really. But I can’t…
Because things change.
But there’s one thing that never will change. My love for her. I will always love her. Just as much as I did when I was 8 and she sent me to school for the all-important Picture Day in a Bouffant hairdo. Just like I did when I was 13 and she came home and pulled all of the phones out of our house and took them back to work with her because I didn’t call to check in when I got home from school. Just like I did when I was 17 and she willfully and purposefully interfered with everything good and fun (and possibly illegal and immoral, but we’re not debating that point) that I wanted to do with my friends. At these times, much like the shopping trips to Coldwater Creek, I didn’t think I loved her all that much. Now I know how much she loved me… and today I love her that much, and more.
And that, all two of you and my Dad who are still reading this thing, is something that will never change. That love is forever. Eternal. Unchanging.
So today, if you still have your Mother in your life, or your Dad, pick up the phone and call them, thank them for being a pain in the ass. Thank them for annoying you. Thank them for never changing. And know that all things change. Quickly. And if you miss that moment you may never get it back.
Everything is change.
Don’t lose it.