They’ll be here before you know it…

live-your-lifeSo this morning I started planning our big yearly entertaining event – the 2017 New Years Brunch. So far I’ve created a Facebook event, built a guest list, started adding to the Pinterest board, built a planning spreadsheet… you know, the usual things when you’re entertaining in 2016? Yeah, all of those.

Side note, how did we do this before social media? Wait, what? You don’t do it that way? Whatevs… Paper invites? Spiral notebook lists? In a word… #nope!

And with this step I’m making the decision that come what may with the search for work I’m still here and this is where my life is happening. It’s time to make some plans farther out than tomorrow. Life goes on. And if something happens that pulls me out of here then guess what? I know how to fly home. I’m pretty damned good at buying plane tickets in fact and I can get here pretty fast. So everything else be damned… the holidays will be as I wish. Thanksgiving in North Carolina, Christmas and New Years here. Festive, fun, surrounded by people I love in the places I love, with everything I love included.

I guess the message I’ve been getting from the voices in my head is “live your life”. Out loud. With no need for any forgiveness or permission. These are most assuredly interesting times indeed but putting everything on hold in order to wait for other people to decide things just isn’t working for me anymore. It’s time for me to just do it. Just live.

Today… and tomorrow… and beyond.

 

Starting over…

starting-over

Yeah… again… like that’s not something brand-new and shiny for me… right? But yeah, since apparently self-hosted blogs get deleted if you don’t update the credit card info… ten years of my writing, erased in one button push. I know, seriously? WTOH? And we’ve been told the interwebs are forever… that’s a lie from the pit of hell kids, just so we’re clear. So I’m heartbroken, so much content gone, so much of me deleted.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr…

But I can rebuild, I can still write, I still know the engrishes. But I’m still mad. Really mad. Like unreasonably, ridiculously, irrationally angry AF. At me, at Bluehost, and pretty much the interweb too. Stay out of the way… this could end up getting ugly.

Just sayin.

Update: Thanks to the wizardry of my good friend Chuck Welch I’ve been directed to a source for at least a good chunk of my old posts. It’s tedious work copying and pasting the old stuff but I am rebuilding, slowly but surely. You’ll see more and more content continue to show back up over the next days/weeks/months as I continue recreating my past. Thanks again Chuck! You’re a lifesaver!

The Night The Patriarchy Turned Blue: Democracy, Shenanigans, and Texas

Last night I was up until past 1:30 am watching democracy at work. I wasn’t watching it on any major news outlet though, for which I am further past angry than I’ve been in a long time, but I was not alone. I watched alongside 170,000+ other people who refused to stop looking because the patriarchy said there was no news being made and I’m happy to report from the milky daylight of a brand new day that there was news made and that our system of government still works. I hope you saw it too because it truly was breathtaking to see the Austin Statehouse erupt with the voices of the people of Texas who filibustered themselves when their legislature attempted to silence their official Senate voice in her attempt to be heard. Today, in the milky sunshine of this brand-new day, Wendy Davis is a bonafide hero – pink running shoes and all – as much as any man who fought any other battle that shaped Texas into what it is today. She gets not only my utmost respect but also my hope that someone gave her a really good foot rub and our donations for any race she chooses to run in the future even though she does not represent us, yet. To be sure, there will be a price paid by her, and my household will help her pay it. Because we, as a family, have that choice, because she was not willing to let the constitutionally protected choices of the women of Texas be taken away without raising her voice in protest and alarm.

To Wendy’s point (and my own), whatever your belief, you must understand forever that this is my body and I make my choices. Nobody else gets that right, not you, not my husband, not anybody else. And before you try to take that away from me you must understand that I have lost my choices before because of somebody else’s beliefs and I will not allow that to ever happen again for my daughter or my niece or their girl children, either today, tomorrow, or any day. I will fight you with my voice, with my words, with my money, with my body. I will fight. You may win a battle but you will not win this war. Because I will not fight alone. Austin was but a foreshadowing.

You really won’t like me when I’m angry.

You’ve been warned.

One month…

It’s been one full month since I started changing our lives. One month of totally different eating. One month of totally different activity levels. One month of gradual progress. One month, and it’s working. Really, it is.

A month ago the dogs spent all of their time in the house, just as inactive as we were. Today we get up every morning and start the day with a Dog Walk at least 4 days a week. Also, to their eternal furry delight, we end at least 4 days with a Dog Walk as well. A month ago we could barely run 3 minutes of a 5k, despite having run two this Winter. Yesterday we both ran almost half of a 4 mile series. A month ago my new bike from last Fall was sitting in our garage with flat tires and had never even been ridden at all. Today I regularly ride that same bike 3 full laps around Lake Hollingsworth, at least once a week. A month ago I came home from a trip to Knoxville and discovered I had gained back 20 lbs. of the 35 that I lost in 2009/2010. Today I am 13 lbs. lighter than I was a month ag. It feels good. A month ago my running shoes that I bought 5 months ago were still nearly pristine and appeared mostly unworn. Today I am getting new running shoes for Mother’s Day… along with a Gym membership… and this is the best gift I can imagine getting from Hubs.

One month ago life was good, but not perfect. Today life is better, still not perfect, but getting easier. Today I think we can live like this for a long time. This new life is no longer a novelty. This is our life.

I like it. It works.

The last month is proof that you can change your life… if you try. One month ago we weren’t trying. Now we try every day. We don’t let “can’t” get in the way. Don’t let it get in your way either. You can do this too. You can make it better.

You’re the only one who can.

You. Can.

Dear Monday… try harder!

From my Facebook feed at 10:00 am:

“So… this day began with howling dogs, thunder, and taking Robert Weiner to Urgent Care to get a silicon earbud cover removed from his Middle Ear Canal. Now my nerves are shot, my hair is humidity-wrecked, and it’s just 10am. However, under heading of first aid I’ve already had coffee, bacon, and carbs. Next I’m getting a Mani-Pedi and I’ll be therapeutically window-shopping after this and hopefully at least one of these actions will start the process of remaking this day into something I can live with.”

Oh, and after I reset our Amazon password (because somebody changed it and forgot the new one) I’ve also ordered a nice shiny set of over-the-ear headphones for “that man” in order to keep at least one of these disasters from ever happening again.

Bless his heart. Oh, and if none of this works or anything else bad happens I’m switching to Vodka (AKA liquid Carbs).

So how’s your Tuesday?

Four years…

c-bob

Four years since our youngest graduated from High School… and in less than 2 weeks she graduates from College.

Wow. See also: Where did the time go?

She’s different today, but still the same. Still beautiful… we hope she knows how much… still just as smart as we always knew she was… we hope she knows how smart… still finding her way… we hope she finds the way she really wants, not the one that’s easiest… and still our girl that we love with all our hearts… we hope she knows how much.

Graduation isn’t just an ending… it’s a beginning. The first day of the next chapter. We hope there are many more chapters for her. Lots more new. Lots more different.

We wish you love (which you’ve always had), luck (which you do not need), joy (which you bring with you in abundance), and vision (to see past today and find your tomorrow). Don’t wait for somebody to save you, don’t look for your Handsome Prince on a horse… instead be your own Hero. Save yourself. It’s your future, make it work for you… the rest will happen as it’s supposed to.

Never forget that life is what happens when you’re busy making plans. So make your own plans. Don’t accept others plans for you. Live your life. Not other peoples’ lives instead of your own.

Take the time always to live, love, & laugh… today, tomorrow, and always.

And never forget that we love you.

No matter what.

Love never changes.

Never.

Evolving…

let-go  Okay, so after playing with the idea of straightening my life up in multiple ways, with the idea of living longer and better at the forefront of that concept, I finally made the leap and did it two weeks ago.  I’m writing more in depth over here if you’re interested but the upshot in 6,000,000 words or less is that I feel better, I see changes happening inside and out, and it’s worth it.

Yes, indeed it is.  I believe.

However, feeling better isn’t the whole point here with my life I’m afraid.  Now I’ve got to get my head in the game with everything else in my life that needs to be changed.  I’ve finally committed (at least mostly, since I’m very changeable) to following the careerpath I love – Social Media – with several resumes out there in that field now.  I only hope I can compete in that area alongside people far younger who seem to have the edge only because of that youth.  Likewise, after much debate and second-guessing, we’re really committed to staying put here in central Florida.  Our quality of life is so good and our circle is so big that we feel its worth it to try to make this work for us.  No, we’re not going to get rich quick here.  Not even get rich slow.  But we’ve got friends and family and connections that go pretty deep for us so we think it’s worth trying to make it work.

Oh and PS to Harry’s… don’t try so damned hard to change my mind… one place/incident does not an entire place make, which is seriously lucky for you because if it did then after Saturday I would either be picketing you or hiring a Moving Company.  PS I caught onto your personal prejudices there Ms. Manager, my LGBT friends did too.  One of us was unfortunately far too sober and straight for your shenanigans.  I’ll vote against you with my wallet, and my word of mouth.  You were warned then, I’m serious.

Bitch.  Oh, and F-U!  There, didn’t say that Saturday, but now I am.  With berries.

Yeah, so anyway, I’ll write more about that later, life evolves.  Backward is anywhere you go.  People want to be offended… from now on my mission is to help them out whenever I can.

Anyway, yeah, we are moving forward, slowly, grindingly, painfully, but still moving forward.  Just like the world around us.  Things will change.  We will change.  And we will change our world, just by staying in it.

Evolve or die… not just a saying, a reality.